“This is what I’ve come to believe about change: it’s good, in the way that childbirth is good, and heartbreak is good, and failure is good. By that I mean it’s incredibly painful, exponentially more so if you fight it, and also that it has the potential to open you up, to open life up, to deliver you right into the palm of God’s hand, which is where you wanted to be all along…”
-Shauna Niequist, Bittersweet
I’ve shared with you that recently my life has experienced some external change, specifically a foot injury not allowing me to enjoy my regular running routine, then an unexpected loss within our family, followed by starting a new job. These certainly have had an impact on me over the past month in various ways, but there has also been some internal change going on as well. The thing is, I’m not exactly sure what it’s all about, but I sense a transformation in my heart, in my mind, in my soul.
Maybe this sounds odd. It actually feels a little odd because it’s this feeling I have all the time that just won’t go away. I wake up in the morning and it’s there until I go to sleep at night. And the same it goes the next day and then the day after that… for the last couple weeks now. The only way I can think to describe it is to say that it’s like being smack dab in the middle of a trek but not really knowing where you left nor where you are going. It’s not a feeling of fear or anxiety. It’s not a feeling of worry or doubt. It’s not even a feeling of excitement or anticipation. It’s just a feeling of things shifting and changing and moving toward a place unknown.