So last Friday … I did something I thought I’d NEVER do … I got a tattoo.
Now, I know, for some of you this isn’t a big deal at all. You’re thinking, “Hannah, really? A tattoo? It’s not like you went skydiving or climbed Mt. Everest or ran an Ultra Marathon.” But friends, for this girl, getting a tattoo was a HUGE leap. I got something engraved on my skin that will be there FOR.EV.ER.
For starters, I’m not one for needles and pain (is anyone, really?); and then I had to think about how I would feel about this when I’m (hopefully) 80 years old and sharing my life stories and shenanigans with the younger generations. I had to face questions like: “Is this something I’m comfortable being asked about? Is this something I’m willing to be judged by? What if my arm skin starts to sag and the letters are no longer clear? How will I feel about this if things in my life aren’t the way they are now or when I get bad news, etc?” These are important questions.
But after literally a year of thinking about taking this step and playing out various scenarios in my mind, including the actual application of the tattoo itself, I just KNEW, deep down in the marrow of my bones and in the furthest recesses of my heart, that I had to do it. Honestly, getting this tattoo is something I felt CALLED to do, as a daughter of God who in the last couple of years has been completely UNDONE and taken to a NEW PLACE with Him. And the reality is that when the Spirit moves, the only thing to do is follow where He leads (a lesson I’ve learned time and time again).
And so, I booked the appointment, and my bestie accompanied me to the tattoo parlor Friday evening for support. Within 30 minutes, I was officially INKED!
And … I. LOVE. IT.
“Set Free” isn’t just a mantra for me this year, but has become the call and mission and purpose of my life. The freedom that I have in Christ has become evident to me in EVERY area of my life – in my walk with Him, in my marriage to Kenny, in my relationships with family and friends, in my career and professional pursuits, in my hobbies and adventures, and in the little every day things I do.
You see, for years I’ve known the Word says I am free and that’s what I have professed to believe, but I haven’t always actually lived free. I’ve struggled with anxiety, depression, shame, insecurity, comparison, worry, doubt, striving, perfectionism, and control for WAY. TOO. LONG. And friends, I’m done living that way. I’m done forgetting who I really am in Him and letting the Enemy get a foothold and take over the best parts of myself and the joy in my life. I’m over his schemes and I’m surrendering fully to God who says I am more than a conqueror, victorious, and crowned with righteousness and glory in His Name.
I’ve also been learning what it means to have my own unique adventure with God and that it’s okay if it doesn’t look like the adventure of anyone else. He has a unique and special story that He’s writing just for me, and I am free to walk this thing out with Him, even if it doesn’t look “cool” or align with the mission / purpose of another, even a close friend or family member. I am learning to accept who God has made me to be and be comfortable in my own skin, and friends, there is so much freedom and grace and healing in that!
So, that’s my story and that’s why I’m wearing my testimony on my wrist these days. We’ll call this tattoo my personal “battle cry” and reminder to live and walk and speak and think FREE, in Jesus’ Name, AMEN!
Special thanks to my awesome husband, Kenny G, for supporting this decision fully and telling me how HOT he thinks it is that I now have a tattoo; as well as to my best friend, Emily, for being there with me and offering her support in the midst of preparing for her bridal shower and wedding planning, etc. My cup runneth over.